4 weeks ago
Sunday, November 8, 2009
As I sit down to write this post, I am humbled by God's grace. It is actually hard for me to find the right words to express my thoughts because I am overwhelmed with feelings. I feel amazed, extremely happy, confused, sad, thrilled, shocked and grateful all at the same time. Depending on the moment, these emotions have been our life for the past six weeks. With lots of prayer, Chris an I actually decided to pursue our second adoption; however, out of respect for several of our friends and Tegegn, we decided that we would start the process quietly. We wanted the focus to be on our son and not on our adoption this time around. Our plan this time was to adopt a little girl from Ethiopia. As we progressed with the paper chase and only had a couple of items left to complete (home study and fingerprints) before turning in our dossier, God decided to reveal His plan to us. Towards the end of September we placed our adoption on hold because we found out that we are expecting. Not only were we shocked to find out that I was pregnant, we were even more shocked that I was ten weeks along when we first found out! (I have to tell you - I tried to think back about everything that I did and the worst thing I could come up with was waterskiing...whew!) To say the least, we have had a lot of emotions recently. To be honest, I had to really switch gears because I was already praying for my little girl in Ethiopia. I was really confused why God is allowing us to experience this when we were more than satisfied to adopt His beautiful Ethiopian children into our home. Please do not think that I am not excited about this pregnancy. I am thrilled and grateful. I think I have a mix of emotions because I understand infertility. I understand the pain and hurt that it can cause and I reached the point where I accepted it and I am simply humbled that God decided to give us this opportunity. I am extremely happy and pray daily for a healthy baby. When we found out that we were expecting, I actually went to my fertility doctor because they knew my history. When I showed up in his office, he was shocked to see me. I was one of the patients that he never thought he would see again. I think he kinda had me on that list of people he thought wouldn't get pregnant. After three visits, I was cleared to return to a local doctor. I am on quite a bit of medication and once a week Chris has to give me a shot, but overall this should be a normal pregnancy. Chris was able to hear the heartbeat for the first time on Friday at our local doctor's office. How amazing! We couldn't get enough of the sound. On Wednesday, we will be seventeen weeks along. We have been talking to Tegegn about the baby. Tonight, he decided the baby was thirsty and shared his water with the baby by putting his sippy cup upside down on my belly. He then proceeded to call it bubba for baby and gave it a kiss and high five. The moment was priceless. Tegegn will be a wonderful big brother to this baby and eventually another Ethiopian sibling.